FOR OTHER PARENTS, PARTNERS IN EDUCATION

Il faut parfois beaucoup de temps pour apprivoiser cette réalité qui prend des formes déroutantes. Ce processus de reconnaissance des troubles et de leurs retentissements sur la vie familiale peut être long et évoluer à des rythmes différents pour le parent directement concerné par les troubles, mais aussi pour l’autre parent (conjoint ou ex-conjoint) témoin de cette transformation.

Ce décalage dans la perception de ce qui se passe est souvent source de tensions relationnelles et de désaccord parental. Le conjoint ou l’ex-conjoint va parfois devoir assumer seul une grande partie de l’éducation des enfants. Le partage des responsabilités parentales et la façon dont les parents s’accordaient jusque-là pour répondre aux besoins des enfants sont bousculés.

Quand les choses seront apaisées, il faudra trouver des ajustements pour répondre aux besoins des enfants et restaurer une forme, parfois différente, de coparentalité.

The UNAFAM Parental Support Consultation is intended both for parents directly affected by a mental health difficulty and for their spouses or ex-spouses with whom they share the educational role.

Whether alone or with the other parent, it is a space to reflect on educational issues without neglecting health difficulties, to take into account the effects of the illness on one's children, to find the words to talk to them about it, to situate oneself in the relationships with professionals who have a role in education (nursery, school, educators, etc.), to find support and access resources.

accompagnement-parental@unafam.org

LAETITIA

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Trouble can arise at any stage in a relationship, whether before, during, or after. There is a before and after in a relationship; it's an emotional tsunami where you find yourself completely lost and must face the unknown without any guidance, trying as best you can to protect yourself and the children.

It's incredibly traumatic to no longer recognize your partner, to not know what's happening, and to have no framework or outside perspective to understand this unprecedented situation. In my case, my husband's diagnosis came after 15 years of marriage and two children.

As a caregiver, for a long time I tended to act as a buffer when the disorder manifested, to protect the children. However, the reality is that the children often showed symptoms well before I did (agitation, tantrums, sleep problems). For my part, I was exhausted, constantly hypervigilant, and the children were left with two insecure parents. Now, when we all face a difficult situation together, we put words to it, we talk about it, explaining that the situation will be complicated, that we are receiving support, and we ask them what might help them get through this difficult phase. We often rely on the grandparents, and all our friends know the situation and are a great help during turbulent times.
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